Doctor, Doctor - Give me the news

Never before has such a motley bunch been gathered as was there to celebrate the award of an Honorary Doctorate to Andrew J. Kershaw by The University of Leeds. Was it that they were completely shocked to find that he can finally claim a degree from the university? Was it the promise of free food and drink? Who knows!

But Shirl - who are the others?
Be afraid, very afraid
  Once he carried the bags for, Lord Bragg ( relation) gives him a bit of paper
  Kershaw discovers the paper carries a message about where Melvyn's bags can be picked up from - Melvyn thinks it's a good wheeze Why is it that just as you are making a major speech, a pink elephant always floats into view?
  James decides that his jolly mate needs a crown The boy Kershaw (now older than 12 and a half) tries to see off the pink elephant demanding that it's his coronation -
Ian, my brother, carefully avoids this potentailly tricky situation
  And here they are, beauties fit to be queens Surfin Dave has performed on this stage before but doesn't remember the till shaped keyboard
Now, who is this likely bunch of lads - spies from down the road, I'll be bound - but, at least, Ian seems to have an eye on them 'Look, I don't care if I am drinking his wine, I'm still king around here', declares the pink elephant
  Methinks, the boy is working out some cunning plan And, as he whirls the dervish, the plan is clearly a good one - watch out pink elephant!

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